Love of the spirit Sequel of smoke trail
by BerryBerryBlitz
Summary: This is the sequel of my story 'Smoke Trail'. Misaki is still upset over the loss of Usagi, things just don't feel the same without him, what will happen when something unexpected appears? How will Misaki react when he sees his loved one again? SEQUEL TO SMOKE TRAIL already finished chapters posted when I have time PS I made the cover
1. Chapter 1 : Time passed since you left

**THIS IS SEQUEL TO SMOKE TRAIL!**

**Kind of a teaser leading to the next chapter~**

**Chapter 1 : Time has passed since you left me**

It had been three months since Usagi died, his funeral was really hard on me, I couldn't stop crying the whole time, even Nii-Chan couldn't get me to cheer up. I had hoped Usagi wouldn't be sad that I cried that day, I really did miss him.

I had gone shopping today, I needed to pick up some cleaning supplies. I hadn't cleaned the house in a while because I didn't have the energy to.

_I'm sorry Usagi, even though I want to live my life to the fullest, I just need time.. __I still miss you a lot, you know the saying you don't know something's true value before its gone?.. __Well I never knew just how much you meant to me Usagi.. I knew I loved you a lot but... With you gone... I don't know what to do anymore.._

I put down the bags of cleaner that I had bought so I could grab the key out of my pocket to my apartment, it still felt weird thinking about it as mine. Usagi had left me all of his belongings, I looked around the messy apartment as I entered.

_Whoa... I really let this place go.._

I sprayed air freshener to stop myself from gagging at the smell, I then rolled up my sleeves and brought out the cleaners. I almost laughed to myself, it was almost as bad as how Usagi's study room got after he finished his deadline.

I picked up my clothes that I had scattered all over the floor and threw them into a basket to be washed later. I then threw out all of the take out containers and boxed that had accumulated over time, I hadn't had the energy to cook meals for myself so I had just been lazy and ordered out, even then it was very rare for me to eat. Of course I didn't spent money recklessly, I always bought the cheapest foods.

_I'm going to live properly from now on! The time for moping is over! I can't have Usagi being ashamed of me now can I?_

I had begun sweeping, I walked past the mirror in the hall and stopped, my reflection had surprised me. I could easily tell that I had lost a lot of weight over the past three months. I frowned at how baggy my clothes were.

_I've got to start putting weight back on again! If Nii-Chan saw me right now he would freak out._

I looked at the spotless Living room and smiled, it looked just like it did before when Usagi was still here.

The though of Usagi made me sad but I shook the sadness away, instead I remembered the happy times we spent together and all of the trials we had to overcome.

I had told my brother about me and Usagi's relationship soon after Usagi's death, my brother didn't believe me at first but I soon made him. When he did believe he fainted right on the spot and I had to catch him. When he woke up he asked if it was a dream and I had told him it wasn't. This resulted in Ni-chan fainting again I couldn't help but laugh at how silly he was. The third time I told him he luckily didn't faint, instead he was slightly happy about it but also sad that the one I loved dearly had died.

_I love Nii-chan very much... I've got to repay him one day._

I took the cleaning supplies up the stairs, I looked into Usagi's old study, it still looked like a tornado had blown through it. I hadn't wanted to clean it up, it had reminded me of Usagi. I sighed and took a breath then began to clean up the mess. It was hard, it wasn't the cleaning part that was hard, it was the thought that this would be my last time cleaning up after that silver haired disaster that I loved.

_I never thought the day would come where I would miss cleaning up you messes Usagi.._

I could feel my tears begin to fall as I placed the last misplaced book back onto the bookshelf, I wasn't going to pack up Usagi's stuff. That was the one this I could not do. I wanted there to be even just a little bit of Usagi's presence to remain in this huge house filled with our memories together.

I sighed exhausted from all the cleaning I did, I went over towards my bed. I still slept in the one Usagi and me slept together in. Even though it felt so empty and lonely, it made me feel safe because it was where me and Usagi were together. I flopped into the bed tired and I felt something warm.

_Huh?!.._

I looked up and saw a familiar patch of silver poking up from underneath the sheets. My eyes went wide.

_No it couldn't be... Usagi?!_

_**DUN DUN DUH! X3 teaser till I ****post next chapter**~_


	2. Chapter 2 : The perfect dream?

**Hehe the berry never edits~**

**Chapter 2 : The perfect dream?...**

**Misaki POV**

I couldn't believe my eyes, I was seeing Usagi right beside me in bed. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing things and gasped when he was still there.

_I must be dreaming..but still... I want to be with him.._

I crawled on the bed over to the sleeping patch of silver, I nudged it gently and felt myself shiver as his familiar warmth entered me.

"Usagi?..."

I whispered into my sleeping lovers ears, he pulled me into his arms, it shocked me but I was happy. I didn't try to escape from the silver haired man's grasp, instead I nuzzled into him and kissed him.

"I love you Usagi ..."

His lavender eyes opened as I confessed, his eyes gave me a longing to be with him, I was so happy just to see them again. Even if I knew this was all a dream, it was a dream I didn't want to wake up from.

"Misaki... You're my world, I won't be leaving you again, I'll stay with you my love"

I began to tear up at Usagi's words, it made me so sad that I knew that he couldn't keep his promise. I pulled myself closer to his body and cried into his shirt. My actions seemed to have surprised Usagi because he had tensed but then his body relaxed. He lifted my head from crying into his shirt and kissed me, I had missed the sweet sensation of Usagi's lips in my own. I didn't care about my pride, I just wanted to be with Usagi.

"Misaki.. You're very forward today"

Usagi whispered into my ear, his voice sent shivers down my spine. The shivers were the good kind, I looked into those lavender eyes of his and pinned my Usagi down by his arms, his eyes filled with shock. I understood why, I'd never do something like this outside of a dream.

"Baka... I love you so much... I want to be with you so much... My heart hurts so much..."

I looked down at the lavender eyed man below me, I saw my tears beginning to fall down onto him. I noticed a sly smile cross over Usagi's face, I looked at him confused. I felt myself fly into the air then I could feel the bed at my back, Usagi was now on top of me.

"Misaki if you want me so badly.. All you have to do is ask"

Usagi cooed into my ear, I nodded towards him and pulled him down towards me.

"I-I want you..."

Usagi looked at me in shock, I frowned slightly at his reaction.

_Did he seriously expect me to deny after all that has happened?... I just want to be with Usagi as much as possible even if its only in my dreams_.

Usagi's shock quickly melted into an expression of kindness, he pulled me towards him.

"As you wish my adorable Misaki"

**(A/N) ~ they make love and I'm not aloud to write what happens but use your imagination~ Misaki isn't as timid but is a little bold hehe~ so time skip till after!**

Me and Usagi laid in bed together, I was so happy to be with him that I could have cried.

"Usagi... Please don't leave me again..."

I was afraid of waking up, I wanted to be able to stay in this blissful dream world for as long as I could. I knew that I would wake up in an empty, cold and lonely bed without Usagi by my side. I was scared of waking up.

I felt Usagi's warm arms wrap around me, I nuzzled into him exhausted from before.

"Misaki I'm not going to leave you, I've already told you haven't I? I'm going to stay with you"

Usagi's words felt like a blade had shredded my heart into pieces, his kind words were too sweet to believe, no matter how much I wanted to believe him I just couldn't.

"Usagi..."

I began to cry, Usagi's kind words were hurting me so much that I couldn't take it. I felt Usagi wipe away my tears, I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"Misaki, there's no need to cry love... I will continue to haunt you"

_Usagi... Wait...what?! __H-he said haunt didn't her?!... __That means... OH MY GOD!_

_"_Usagi, isn't this a dream?!"

My question caused Usagi to laugh, his reaction made me go pale.

_It wasn't a dream... So that means..._

My face went bright red when I remembered everything I did and said to Usagi.

_Oh god...how could I do something so embarrassing?!_

Usagi grabbed me in his arms, I tried to escape from his clutch.

"Baka Usagi let me go!"

"Ah... So you were acting like that because you thought it was a dream...maybe I should have let you think it was a dream."

I looked at Usagi with teary eyes, then hugged him tightly.

"Usagi... Baka..."

I fell asleep in my lovers arms, I felt so safe and happy knowing that Usagi was once again by my side.

**Usagi POV**

I had decided to lay in bed to wait for my Misaki, I couldn't wait to see his reaction when he saw me.

_I'm sorry it took so long to come back to you Misaki_.._I may not be alive but I want to stay with you anyway_.

I heard misaki enter the room and flop on the bed, I heard a gasp that I guessed was from him spotting me.

_Misaki, you must feel so happy right now._

I felt the bed move as my adorable Misaki crawled over to me, I felt Misaki nudge me. I had to stop myself from laughing about how adorable he was acting_._

"Usagi?..."

Misaki's gentle and timid voice felt so wonderful in my ears, I pulled him into my arms wanting to feel his familliar warmth. I was surprised that instead of running away like usual, my Misaki instead had chosen to nuzzle himself into me. I felt a light kiss.

"I love you Usagi ..."

My eyes opened immediately, I took in the sight of my Misaki's beautiful emerald eyes, there seemed to be an emotion swirling within them that I had never seen before, longing. I felt so enlightened that my Misaki still loved me, maybe even more than before.

"Misaki... You're my world, I won't be leaving you again, I'll stay with you my love"

I noticed my Misaki starting to tear up, I was confused.

_Was he so happy that he needed to cry? If so I'm glad._

Misaki pulled me closer towards him and cried into my shirt, the tears oddly enough stained my shirt even though I was a ghost.

_Maybe because they are my dear Misaki's tears_.

I was slightly surprised by my Misaki's actions but I accepted them, I loved seeing Misaki showing me his true feelings towards me. I lifted my Misaki's head and kissed him, I was glad when he didn't pull away from me.

_Misaki... You must have missed me so much.. I'm sorry. I won't leave you this time._

"Misaki.. You're very forward today"

I was surprised of how Misaki was acting he usually didn't act like this, it wasn't a bad thing though. I had whispered into his ear and he pinned me down to the bed, I looked at my Misaki in shock.

_Misaki... Are you seriously?_

I was filled with so much happiness that my Misaki was not being shy towards me.

"Baka... I love you so much... I want to be with you so much... My heart hurts so much..."

I looked up at the emerald eyed Misaki above me, I've never seen him from this angle before and I loved it. I noticed Misaki had started crying again and I pushed him so that our positions became reversed with me on top of him.

"Misaki if you want me so badly.. All you have to do is ask"

I cooed seductively into my Misaki's ear, he nodded eagerly towards me and pulled me close.

"I-I want you..."

I was shocked, I never expected Misaki to willingly say those words. I felt the urge to make him mine.

_Misaki I'm so happy you're being so honest with yourself, you may seem a little off right now but I still want to be with you. _

My shock had quickly dissipated and I looked at the adorable Misaki underneath me fondly.

"As you wish my adorable Misaki"

**(A/N) ~ they make love and Usagi has a total blast with the bold Misaki.**

I happily laid in bed with my exhausted Misaki after we slept together.

"Usagi... Please don't leave me again..."

_Misaki... You're so sweet_

He seemed so afraid that I was going to leave him, it hurt knowing how scared he was but it also made me happy. My Misaki wanted me to stay with him and loved me so much.

I wrapped my arms around my small Misaki, he nuzzled into me. I could easily tell he was exhausted.

"Misaki I'm not going to leave you, I've already told you haven't I? I'm going to stay with you"

_Those words are the truth Misaki, I'd have to be torn away from you by force and even then I would somehow make it back to your side again_.

"Usagi..."

My Misaki began to cry, I didn't understand why but I wiped away his tears and he looked at me with his glistening emerald eyes.

"Misaki, there's no need to cry love... I will continue to haunt you"

_Your my special love that I would cross time and space to see if I had to_. _I love the sight of you, I love your kind heart and most of all I love you Misaki._

_"_Usagi, isn't this a dream?!"

_Huh?_

I laughed at my Misaki's question, I finally understood why he had seemed so off, I noticed Misaki go pale.

_Misaki.,. So you dream about me often?... I kind of like that._

My Misaki's pale face was replaced with a brightly blushing one.

_Oh Misaki... You must feel so embarrassed right now..hehe so cute_.

I grabbed my Misaki in my arms, he tried to escape but I easily stopped him.

_Now that's the Misaki I know, though I also like the bold one._

"Baka Usagi let me go!"

"Ah... So you were acting like that because you thought it was a dream...maybe I should have let you think it was a dream."

My Misaki looked at me with now teary emerald eyes, I was then hugged by him.

"Usagi... Baka..."

Misaki I'm so glad you missed me.

I watched as my Misaki fell asleep in my arms, I looked at him fondly and began to let his soft brown hair.

_I'll stay with you for eternity Misaki_

_**aww you happy ? :3 anyway i hope you enjoyed thousands chapter~**_


	3. Chapter 3 : How! Baka Usagi!

**Ah i forgot to say something : This story was written a while after smoke trail, thats why its writing style may be a tiny bit better so yeah it's one of my newer stories that I wrote because a sequel was requested...**

**Chapter 3 : how?! Baka Usagi!**

**Misaki POV**

I hugged Usagi tightly, I just couldn't believe that Usagi had returned to me. I had missed him so much, I could never have thought seeing Usagi again would have been so easy.

**"**Usagi.. How are you able to be here?... You.. You died..."

It was hard saying those words, I hated remembering the day I woke up to find out that Usagi was no longer among the living. Usagi smiled at me and held my face in his hands.

"Misaki, I would cross all barriers that exist to be able to be with you, I'm sorry it took so long"

His voice was calming and kind, I couldn't stop the tears that trickled down my face, I was just so happy that I had Usagi back.

_Usagi, you always say such sweet words to me.._

I smiled at Usagi and timidly brought my lips to his own, it was odd. I had never heard of ghosts that could be touched and had warmth, yet here was my beloved Usagi in front of me. Usagi wiped away my tears and ruffled my hair, I had missed that sensation of Usagi ruffling my hair so much.

I frowned playfully at Usagi like I was an little kid.

"Usagi that's not an proper explanation"

Usagi sighed at my response, I wasn't going to let him escape my question.

"I don't know honestly Misaki, I've actually been by your side the whole time. Today was the first time you were actually able to see me, and what's more you seem to be the only one. I also don't understand how anything that involves you can tough me"

I tilted my head, Usagi didn't seem to look like he was lying, if he was it would have been something really embarrassing that came from his mouth. I sighed, I wasn't fully content with the answer but it seemed like it was the best one I was going to get right now.

"Usagi that's really strange, I wonder what happened"

He attempted to pull me closer but I dodged, I was too busy pondering what happened to fool around.

"Maybe the reason is love?"

Usagi's words made my face flush red, I threw one of the pillows in his face and looked away.

"Baka Usagi.. That stuff doesn't happen in reality"

I heard him chuckle, I grabbed the pillow I had hit him with and smashed it in his face.

_Baka Usagi, always joking around..though I'm happy Usagi is still himself._

_"_Misaki quit being violent or I'll have to punish you"

My face paled, I was sore from before and I didn't think I would be able to last a second round. I shook my head and went to walk out of the room.

"Misaki stop... You forgot you're clothes, actually I prefer this view"

Ugagi laughed, my face went red as I looked down and saw that I had indeed forgotten to put my clothes back on.

"Thanks..."

I grabbed my clothes and scurried to the washroom and locked the door.

_That could have been bad... What if I had an visitor and opened the door... The embarrassment would have killed me.._

I took a shower to clean myself off, It was brisk because I wanted to go back to Usagi's side_._ I felt uneasy when I wasn't with him, as if everything today would turn out to just be my imagination_. _When I finished drying myself off and getting dressed I ran back to me and Usagi's room_._ I fell in the doorway however, my body suddenly felt so weak. I saw Usagi come running over to me, he helped me up.

"Misaki, you need to eat more food.. You're practically skin and bones"

_Ah so that's why I fell_.

I nodded happily to Usagi and smiled.

"Okay, I wasn't eating much before because I didn't have much of an appetite. But now I feel hungry, what do you- oh yeah I guess you're not able to eat"

Usagi smiled sadly as he nodded, I felt a little sad that Usagi couldn't taste my cooking anymore.

_I guess being with Usagi is good enough for me_.

"I wish I could taste your cooking Misaki... It seems the only thing I can taste is yo-"

I shoved my towel in his mouth, I knew what the end of his sentence was going to be and it was too embarrassing.

"Baka Usagi!"

**Usagi** **POV**

My Misaki hugged me tightly, I loved his touch so much. It made me feel thankful that I ever had the chance to meet my Misaki.

_I'm so lucky_.._thank you for not forgetting me Misaki_.

**"**Usagi.. How are you able to be here?... You.. You died..."

_Good question_..

I could tell that asking that was hard on my Misaki. I had watched how much he had suffered without me, it made me long for him so very much. I smiled and held my Misaki face in my hands.

"Misaki, I would cross all barriers that exist to be able to be with you, I'm sorry it took so long"

I was surprised by the tears that came from Misaki, I didn't think that I had done anything wrong.

_Did I upset you Misaki?_

Misaki smiled at me and he timidly kissed me, I was shocked at his action because he knew that this wasn't a dream.

_Misaki.. You're so sweet._

I wiped away my Misaki's tears, understanding now that they were from happiness. I then ruffled his soft brown hair.

Me frowned like he was a little kid, he looked so adorable.

"Usagi that's not an proper explanation"

_It's the best I've got_..

I sighed, I really had no proper idea how to explain to Misaki.

"I don't know honestly Misaki, I've actually been by your side the whole time. Today was the first time you were actually able to see me, and what's more you seem to be the only one. I also don't understand how anything that involves you can tough me"

My Misaki tilted his head like a puppy, he seemed to be debating about whether I was telling the truth or not. I under stood why, my explanation wasn't really the best one in the world. He finally sighed after a while.

"Usagi that's really strange, I wonder what happened"

I pulled my Misaki closer, and I was disappointed when he dodged me, I wanted to have more of Misaki.

"Maybe the reason is love?"

I joked, wanting to see my Misaki blush. I was content when I succeeded but he then threw a pillow on my face and looked away.

"Baka Usagi.. That stuff doesn't happen in reality"

I laughed, I had missed joking with my Misaki like this, though I ended up getting a pillow in the face again.

_Misaki you're so adorable... I just want to keep you all to myself._

_"_Misaki quit being violent or I'll have to punish you"

My Misaki visibly paled at my comment.

_Is my punishment really that bad? You usually enjoy yourself greatly Misaki_.

He shook his head and began to walk out of the room.

_So clueless and forgetful_..

"Misaki stop... You forgot you're clothes, actually I prefer this view"

I laughed at my Misaki's reaction, his pale face had now flushed red with embarrassment.

"Thanks..."

_Wow you actually did forget.._

He grabbed his clothes and scurried over to the washroom and locked the door_._

_I guess he needs the shower.. I did mess him up a lot.. Though I should have kept him her to do more..._

I waited patiently for my Misaki to finish his shower, I was clean and luckily did not need a shower.

_I guess being a ghost has its perks.._

I smiled when Misaki came running into the room after his shower but then he fell. I ran towards him, worried that he had hurt himself during his fall. I sighed when I saw that he was okay and helped him up, he felt really light in my arms.

"Misaki, you need to eat more food.. You're practically skin and bones"

_It hurt seeing you half starve yourself, I wish I could have prevented you from doing so.._

I was relieved when my Misaki nodded towards me and smiled.

"Okay, I wasn't eating much before because I didn't have much of an appetite. But now I feel hungry, what do you- oh yeah I guess you're not able to eat"

_Misaki you're so cute.. Caring about me_.

I smiled at him sadly and nodded, I regretted not being able to taste my Misaki's delicious cooking.

"I wish I could taste your cooking Misaki... It seems the only thing I can taste is yo-"

My Misaki cut me off by shoving his towel in my mouth, it really did seem odd that only things associated with Misaki could touch me.

"Baka Usagi!"

_Misaki you're so childish_.

**Hope ya enjoyed this chapter~ hehe**


	4. Chapter 4 : I never knew what I had

**Fluff~ basically making up for** **the** **sadness of smoke trail hehe** **~ no edit**

**Chapter 4 : I never knew what I had**

**Misaki POV**

I looked at Usagi, even though he was right in front of me and had been with me for a bit. I still couldn't comprehend that Usagi had returned to me, it was like a dream come true.

_Maybe I should be more appreciative towards Usagi.. When he left.. I had felt so empty inside as if I was nothing._

"Misaki what's wrong? You seem to be a little quiet"

I smiled at Usagi happily and tackle hugged him making him fall on the bed, I then nuzzled into him.

"M-Misaki?! What's wrong? your acting strange.."

I laughed lightly at Usagi's expression, it was expected of him to seem slightly confused by my actions.

_Usually I_ _wouldn't do things like this... But now, I finally understand my feelings fully_.

"Nothing's wrong Usagi..no Akihiko, I just love you so much.. I'm...I'm lost without you"

I let myself enjoy Akihiko's warmth that I never had expected to feel again, I loved that my thoughts had been wrong.

"Misaki.. Where is this coming from?"

Akihiko's voice was soft and quiet, I could see tears welling up inside of his lavender eyes. It seemed a little odd, usually I was the one who was crying but I felt happy, happy that I had made Akihiko cry from happiness. I cupped Akihiko's face in my hands and tilted my head and smiled at him.

"Have you ever heard the saying you never knew what you had until its gone? When you died I felt so lost and confused, I couldn't feel any happiness at all. I can't believe I was so stupid before... I need you Akihiko, I can't live without you, you're my light in my world.. I finally realized this when you were forced to leave me.."

I didn't even need to think those words, they had just flowed out of my mouth as if they were water. I knew that I had said exactly what I felt towards Akihiko.

"Misaki... You have no idea how much those words mean to me, I've been waiting all these years for you to say that.. Thank you"

I blushed lightly, I was thankful that I had finally come to turns with my true feelings.

"I'm sorry for making you wait Akihiko"

I kissed him lightly, I was content with just being able to be near the one who I loved. I looked into Akihiko's lavender eyes and was happy to see them brimming with love as he returned my gaze. Akihiko stroked my hair softly, his touch seemed so faint and reassuring for me.

"Misaki, it doesn't matter how long I waited, all that matters is that you've finally said it"

I couldn't help but feel a little sad at Akihiko's words, it took so long for me to realize yet he waited for me ever so patiently.

"Baka Akihiko, I seemed to be a little late. I took so long that you died first"

Akihiko stroked my cheek with kindness, and pulled me closer towards him. I had decided that I would no longer let my pride get the better of me, I would actually be true to my feelings.

_Akihiko, I promise that I'll try my best to express just how much you really mean to me. I haven't even expressed half of how much I love truly love you_..

"Misaki, if me dying made you open up your eyes to yourself then Im glad I died"

I looked at Akihiko in shock when he mentioned that he was glad that he had died. I couldn't believe he had just said something like that.

"Akihiko..how could you say something like that..."

I really didn't understand why he gave so little though about the fact that he was dead. If I were in his position I would probably be crying.

_Akihiko you're strong.._

"Misaki, me being dead is fine. As long at I can touch you and be with you, it doesn't matter if I'm dead or alive, all I ever needed was you Misaki"

"Akihiko...Baka..."

I hugged around his neck, I knew what Akihiko was saying had no logic to it. However I also knew that Akihiko was probably telling the complete truth, he had always been usually slightly simple minded at times.

"Misaki, why don't you go eat something? As much as I would love to have you continue to lay on me, I think you should eat something"

I frowned at Akihiko's suggestion, I still wanted to feel his warmth but I sighed. I kissed Akihiko quickly before I got up from laying on him, he smiled at me as he continued to lay on his back.

**Akihiko POV **

I was sitting with my precious Misaki on the bed, he had been silent for a while after our slight pillow fight and I was a little confused.

_Usually Misaki dislikes quiet situations unless we are eating together, why would he be so silent all of a sudden? Is he still confused?_

"Misaki what's wrong? You seem to be a little quiet"

I wanted to know the reason for my Misaki's quietness, he just smiled at me with his lovely smile and tackled hugged me. I fell onto the bed and he was laying on top of me, nuzzling into me like a kitten.

_Misaki... Something's wrong, you know this isn't a dream.. You don't act like this often.._

"M-Misaki?! What's wrong? your acting strange.."

I was confused when my Misaki gave me a light laugh, I didn't see any reason for him to laugh at me.

_Misaki your actions are really strange right now, I love that you're acting like this but it also worries me quite a bit._

"Nothing's wrong Usagi..no Akihiko, I just love you so much.. I'm...I'm lost without you"

He closed his eyes and hummed slightly, I didn't think that he had realized that he was humming.

"Misaki.. Where is this coming from?"

_This is all so sudden, Misaki.._

I couldn't believe what my Misaki had said, his words filled my with a light and soft feeling. I could feel tears begin to fall down my face, they weren't tears of sadness but instead, tears of happiness. My Misaki then gently cupped my face within his hands, tilted his head slightly and smiled kindly at me.

"Have you ever heard the saying you never knew what you had until its gone? When you died I felt so lost and confused, I couldn't feel any happiness at all. I can't believe I was so stupid before... I need you Akihiko, I can't live without you, you're my light in my world.. I finally realized this when you were forced to leave me.."

I thought his words that he said before had shocked me but the new words that came from my dear Misaki just blew me away. He sounded so sincere as he spoke those living words so easily.

_Oh Misaki..._

"Misaki... You have no idea how much those words mean to me, I've been waiting all these years for you to say that.. Thank you"

I caused my adorable Misaki to blush lightly as I thanked him. I couldn't explain how happy I was just from him simply speaking his thoughts to me.

"I'm sorry for making you wait Akihiko"

My Misaki then kissed me lightly, I wasn't used to the sensation of my Misaki starting a kiss with me but I gratefully accepted it. I had never once thought that my sweet Misaki would be like this but I was happy that he had surprised me. I looked into my Misaki's deep emerald eyes as he looked down at me with such tender affection within them. I loved my Misaki so much that I would die once again, if it was to protect him. I stroked his soft brown hair gently, just wanting to feel my Misaki even more.

"Misaki, it doesn't matter how long I waited, all that matters is that you've finally said it"

I was glad that I was able to come back to hear those words that were more precious to me than anything, besides my Misaki.

"Baka Akihiko, I seemed to be a little late. I took so long that you died first"

I stroked my Misaki's cheek gently, I could understand why my words had upset him. My Misaki looked so miserable as I watched him suffer alone when he could see me. I wanted to make sure that my Misaki would never feel like that ever again.

_Misaki as long as you're by my side, I'll be sure to do my best to protect you from any harm that may try to make its way towards you._

"Misaki, if me dying made you open up your eyes to yourself then Im glad I died"

My Misaki gave me a look of shock, I understood why he gave me a shocked reaction. I had said that I was glad that I died even though Misaki had suffered from it.

_Misaki you're okay now, also you've become able to be true to your own feelings. That on its own is worth dying for._

"Akihiko..how could you say something like that..."

_Misaki I know that you're probably really confused but it's okay, I never had a death wish but if its like this than I'm fine. __I'm fine because I'm with you._

"Misaki, me being dead is fine. As long at I can touch you and be with you, it doesn't matter if I'm dead or alive, all I ever needed was you Misaki"

"Akihiko...Baka..."

My Misaki hugged around my neck, his breath felt so warm and calming, I was glad that he was not upset about what I said anymore. It was the truth, I was fine as long as I was by my innocent Misaki's side. I then remembered how thin my little Misaki was.

"Misaki, why don't you go eat something? As much as I would love to have you continue to lay on me, I think you should eat something"

He frowned, he didn't seem like he wanted to leave my side to eat. I had the same feeling but I didn't want my Misaki to become ill I was happy when he sighed. He quickly got off of me but not without placing a quick kiss onto my lips. I smiled at him.

_Misaki I love you so much.._

_**fluff? Don't worry... This story has angst hehe *smirk* though... hehe..**_

_**hope you enjoyed this chapter ~**_


	5. Chapter 5 : something seems off

**O.o ... Whoa word count.. anyway berry doesn't edit**

**Chapter 5 : Seems a little off**

**Misaki POV**

I began to cook myself some rice, Akihiko came downstairs to keep me company as I cooked for myself. I was a little grateful but a little uneasy, the smell of food was making me feel really nauseous and made me feel not very hungry.

_Why does food make me feel so sick? I'm not depressed anymore, I'm actually feeling elated.. Maybe my body isn't used to food anymore._

I grimaced as I scooped out the rice into my plate, I wish Akihiko could eat so he could eat it instead of me.

"Misaki what's wrong?"

I looked over at Akihiko and smiled, I had missed when he would pester me over even the littlest of things.

"Ah I don't feel hungry for some reason... Maybe my stomach shrunk a bit from me not eating a lot"

I sighed, I knew it was noting too serious for Akihiko to worry about it. I assumed that his stomach had shrunk plenty of times before.

_Just my luck, I should have taken better care of myself when Usagi had left._

"I see... I hope you get back to normal soon Misaki. I know what it's like to have a shrunken stomach.."

I was glad that Akihiko understood so I had no reason to force myself to eat and make myself sick. I glared at my food, I didn't want to eat any of it at all, it didn't even smell nice.

"Akihiko, does it smell funny to you?.."

He looked at me confused, he then moved really close to the food and smelled.

"No, it smells perfect"

He frowned at me then sighed as he sat at the table with me, I knew that I had to at least eat something so that my lover would not worry.

_It seems a little strange admitting that he is my lover, but it also feels kind of nice to not have to deny._

I put some of the rice into my mouth, my eyes went wide and I spat it out. It tasted horrible, like it was covered with tiny grains of sand. I grabbed the glass of water I had put with my rice and downed it, I had to force myself to swallow, the water felt like it was logged with sand as it went down my throat.

"... I think I need to get used to cooking again... That was terrible"

I half choked as I explained my actions, Akihiko looked at the food strangely then at me, he had a bit of worry in his expression.

"Misaki, you cooked like you always do. Maybe the food wasn't the problem, when was the last time you ate?"

I had to think for a bit, it surprised me when the last proper meal I had eaten was a few weeks ago.

"A few weeks ago... Though I've eaten fruits off and on"

I froze, Akihiko gave me one of his glares, I knew that my answer didn't impress him at all. He got up from his chair and went to the phone, he frowned when he couldn't pick it up, I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

"Akihiko... You're a ghost, did you forget?"

I laughed at his silliness, he just looked at me with a blank expression that told me that he had indeed forgotten. I got up and walked over to Akihiko.

"So what were you going to do?"

"I was going to order you many special fruits because you seem to like them"

His tone was flat as if the answer was obvious, I glared at him and was grateful that he couldn't touch the phone.

_I don't want to be attacked by fruits again... Strawberries and_ _cherries_...

I remembered the last time Akihiko went ahead and bought me boxes and boxes of strawberries and cherries. I also remembered all the other times he stockpiled on items, I still couldn't believe how reckless he was with money.

"Akihiko... If you want me to eat fruits then I guess I'll go to the store and buy some"

I walked away from Akihiko and the phone and went to get my jacket, Akihiko grabbed my arm and stopped me however, I turned around and looked at him confused, I didn't understand why he would stop me from buying fruit.

"What's wrong?"

"Misaki, I want special fruit for you because you're so special. Normal commoners fruit won't be good enough for you"

I rolled my eyes and sighed at Akihiko's response.

_Akihiko still hasn't changed his value of money... I can't believe it, well, actually I can_.

"Akihiko, money is valuable! I feel bad when I waste it.."

He stated at me with his intense lavender gaze, I could feel my resolve begin to waver slightly.

_No, I will not give into Akihiko's attempts in beating me work..._

Akihiko continued to stare at me as he stopped me from leaving.

"...Fine... Tell me what to order on the phone.."

I looked away from Akihiko, I couldn't stand that gaze of his any longer. I felt warm arms wrap around me gently and pull me back, I looked up to see Akihiko smiling as he held me.

"Misaki I'm so happy, even though I can't specifically get you something, I'm happy you're still able to receive what I want to gift you"

I frowned but moved closer to Akihiko's warmth, it was odd how his touch felt so warm and calming but I was grateful nether less of his comforting touch.

"Baka Akihiko... It's just stupid fruit.."

He turned me so that I was facing him and held my face ever so gently in his hands, I looked up into his kind lavender eyes.

"Misaki you're wrong, it's important because its for my precious Misaki"

_Akihiko... I'm glad, glad that you care for me so much. There's no way I could ever repay you for all that you've done for me.._

**Akihiko POV**

I had followed my sweet Misaki downstairs so I could watch him cook some food for himself, I was worried about how thin he was. I hadn't noticed at first because I was too overwhelmed by how upset my Misaki was when I left him. Then when he saw me, I was too busy paying attention to my love for him. The smell of rice smelled so delicious, I wished that I could eat some but I knew that I couldn't.

_Misaki I'll make sure that you start to eat properly again until you're a healthy weight, I don't want you to join me as a spirit anytime soon._

I noticed that my Misaki had a look of unease as he scooped his rice onto his plate, I sat with him at the table like I used to.

_He doesn't seem too eager to eat even though he's half starved, is he sick?_

"Misaki what's wrong?"

My Misaki looked over at me and smiled, it didn't seem like one of full happiness but I could detect at Lear a bit.

"Ah I don't feel hungry for some reason... Maybe my stomach shrunk a bit from me not eating a lot"

_Poor Misaki.. It makes sense, he hadn't eaten very much..at all since I died.. I hope he gets better soon with time._

My Misaki sighed, it was true that a shrunken stomach wasn't a big deal and could be fixed without any danger, however It made me sad that my Misaki got one in the first place.

"I see... I hope you get back to normal soon Misaki. I know what it's like to have a shrunken stomach.."

I knew that if I over reacted my Misaki would have felt pressured to force himself to eat more than he could handle, I didn't want my Misaki to feel that pain and uncomfortableness. I noticed my Misaki glare at his rice as if it had killed someone.

_Misaki the rice is innocent... It didn't do anything wrong..why glare at it?_

"Akihiko, does it smell funny to you?.."

_What? It smells amazing, maybe it smells bad at close range._

I looked at my Misaki confused then moved close to his food and smelled it.

"No, it smells perfect"

I frowned at my Misaki then sat back in my chair, I wondered why the food smelled weird to my Misaki when it smelled so delicious to me.

_Maybe_ _because Misaki isn't used to eating anymore food seems strange to him... Or his senses are a little off because the obvious lack of nutrition he has been getting_.

I watched my Misaki finally scoop some of the rice he had been glaring at into his mouth, I was shocked when his emerald eyes went wide and he instantly spat it out. He drank the glass of water he had like he hadn't had a drink in days.

_Misaki... What the hell..? I knew you weren't hungry but still_...

"... I think I need to get used to cooking again... That was terrible"

I couldn't believe what my Misaki had just said, from what I remembered my Misaki never once made an disgusting meal, besides when he snuck peppers into it. I watched my poor Misaki choke from the taste, my gaze wandered over the food then back to my Misaki, I was worried about my Misaki's reactions to food.

"Misaki, you cooked like you always do. Maybe the food wasn't the problem, when was the last time you ate?"

I also thought back to try to remember the last time I watched my Misaki have a proper meal, I felt uneasy when I couldn't remember the last time.

"A few weeks ago... Though I've eaten fruits off and on"

_Fruits... He's able to eat fruits... My Misaki needs more nutrition to be healthy.._

I glared at my Misaki, I was angry that my love had been starving himself so badly, he looked at me a little ashamed. I got up and went towards the phone, I wanted to get my Misaki the best fruit in the world to eat.

I frowned when I tried to pick up the phone, my hand just slipped right through it.

_The hell?_

"Akihiko... You're a ghost, did you forget?"

.._.I did actually_...

My Misaki laughed at me, I would have usually punished him with love but I was just glad to see honest and happy laughter coming from the precious brown haired boy that I loved so dearly. However I kept my blank expression as my Misaki came over to me.

"So what were you going to do?"

"I was going to order you many special fruits because you seem to like them"

_Isn't it obvious Misaki?_

My response earned me an emerald glare, I wasn't to impressed with his reaction.

_Misaki I want you to eat good foods that you're able to handle.._

I wanted to buy my Misaki boxes upon boxes of exotic fruits from all over the world, I wanted him to happily try and enjoy new foods.

"Akihiko... If you want me to eat fruits then I guess I'll go to the store and buy some"

My Misaki began to grab his jacket and walked towards the door, I swiftly grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving. He turned around and looked at me, his emerald eyes swirling with confusion.

_You don't understand?.._

"What's wrong?"

"Misaki, I want special fruit for you because you're so special. Normal commoners fruit won't be good enough for you"

My Misaki rolled his eyes and sighed at my response.

_Misaki I want to spoil you, you've been through a lot.._

"Akihiko, money is valuable! I feel bad when I waste it.."

I stared at my Misaki, it was what I usually did when I wanted something, I stared until my Misaki finally gave into my wishes.

"...Fine... Tell me what to order on the phone.."

He looked away from me, I guessed that he couldn't handle my stare anymore, I smiled as I gently wrapped my hands around him and pulled him towards me, he looked up at me with those innocent emerald eyes of his.

"Misaki I'm so happy, even though I can't specifically get you something, I'm happy you're still able to recieve what I want to give you"

My Misaki frowned at me but his actions showed he was happy as he moved deeper into my warm embrace, once again I felt deeply thankful that I could still hold my precious Misaki in my arms.

"Baka Akihiko... It's just stupid fruit.."

_It's not about the fruit Misaki.._

I turned my small brown haired lover towards me, I cupped his face carefully and gently within my hands. I looked into my Misaki's shining emerald gaze, I could never get over how much I loved this fragile boy within my arms.

"Misaki you're wrong, it's important because its for my precious Misaki"

_Misaki, I just want to fill the rest of your days with happiness and peace, will you allow me to?_

_**hope ya enjoyed this chapter~**_


	6. Chapter 6 : A fruity argument

**... I think I was sleepy when I wrote this chapter... Anyway don't worry its good just the content is suggestive but not explicite **

**Chapter 6 : A fruity argument**

**Misaki POV **

I stood in the living room staring at the boxes upon boxes of fruit, I knew that I was the one who had ordered them because of Akihiko but I still couldn't believe it.

_That sneaky... No wonder he made me say the order in a language that I didn't understand_!

I looked over at Akihiko who was inspecting the crates of fruit quite happily, he seemed really content looking at all the fruit.

"Akihiko... Why the hell did you make me order this much fruit?! The bill was huge!"

I shoved the receipt into his face in an attempt to make him realize how easily money adds up, he just took the receipt out of my hands and ripped it up and tossed it away.

"Misaki I don't see any huge bill, all I see is many wonderful fruits for you to consume"

I glared at Akihiko, I wasn't angry at him, I was angry at the fact of the sheer amount of fruit that now occupied the living room.

"Akihiko... Most of this fruit will expire before I can eat it all!"

I whined, hoping that somehow he could return most of the fruit. He just waved his finger at me with his lavender eyes gleaming.

"We'll Misaki I guess you better start digging in, you said fruit agreed with you so start eating"

I couldn't believe what Akihiko had just said, there was no way if ever be able to eat all of the fruit. I glared at him and opened up a box of bananas, I peeled one and threw it into Akihiko's face. He didn't dodge so I guessed that he had expected it to go right through him. Unfortunately for him however, the banana struck him right in the face so that it looked like he had a huge nose. I covered my mouth to prevent myself from laughing at the blank look on Akihiko's.

"Misaki... The fruit is for you to consume..."

Akihiko took the banana off his face and shoved it into my mouth, I was forced to swallow it and I coughed then pouted.

"Akihiko... That's disgusting shoving your face banana into my mouth!"

Akihiko chuckled and pulled me close enough so that I could feel his warm breath.

"Misaki you don't like face bananas? Why not eat a different banana then? Hmm?"

My face went red at Akihikos suggestion, I pushed him away from me and went away from the crates of bananas. I had suddenly lost my appetite for bananas for who knows how long.

"Baka Akihiko..."

I muttered as I opened a box of starfruit, I glanced over at Akihiko and saw that he was pouting but his lavender eyes were gleaming in amusement.

_Why does he always have to say such weird things to me, now I'm unable to eat bananas and they will probably go bad_..

I nibbled on a piece of starfruit and my mood lit up instantly, I looked over at Akihiko and smiled.

"Akihiko this starfruit is really really good! I can't believe it!"

Akihiko smirked and walked over to me, I went back to nibbling on the starfruit, it was one of the most delicious fruits I've ever tasted.

"Misaki you really love star fruit that much?"

I nodded happily towards Akihiko, I felt a little thankful that I had this chance to eat such delicious fruit. Akihiko pushed the rest of the piece of starfruit I was nibbling on into my mouth and smiled.

"If you do then why don't I help you enjoy yourself until you can only see stars?"

I almost choked on the starfruit and backed away from Akihiko, I held up Suzuki-San for defence. I didn't have the strength to defend myself from Akihiko if he decided to attack.

"Akihiko... Stop that!"

He smirked at me and leaned against the wall, I couldn't believe what he was saying while I was trying to eat.

"Stop what?"

Akihiko's voice was smooth and innocent, I glared at him. I knew very well that he was saying those strange things on purpose.

_I'll make you feel guilty so you'll stop_.

"Saying strange things when I'm eating... If you continue I won't be able to eat any of these fruits and I'll feel bad that they were wasted.."

I tried my best to sound upset, I even made myself pout and cross my arms. Akihiko raised a brow and laughed at me then ruffled my hair.

"Okay Misaki, I'll stop so you'll be able to eat more fruit"

I was glad, I looked at the boxes of fruit and grimaced slightly, I wasn't hungry anymore a few pieces of fruit was all I needed to become full. Akihiko seemed to have noticed this because he sighed.

"I guess you're already full now anyway right?"

I nodded apologetically, it was strange not being able to eat as easily as I used to be able to.

"At least it was delicious"

_I wonder if I'll truly be able to eat all that fruit... No I probably won't, I'll eat as much as I can when I'm hungry again though_.

**Akihiko POV**

I was glad that I had somehow managed to trick Misaki into buying a huge shipment of fruits, it was actually more simple as I thought it would be. I looked over at my Misaki who was staring at the boxes of fruit in the living room, his reaction was priceless.

_Misaki why are you so simple minded and easy to trick? Hmm that's just one of the things I love about you so much._

I began to inspect the quality of the fruit and was please to find that not a single fruit seemed to be damaged during the shipping.

"Akihiko... Why the hell did you make me order this much fruit?! The bill was huge!"

My Misaki sounded really angry however I knew that his anger would quickly blow over. I frowned when he shoved the fruits receipt into my face, I didn't care about the price of all this, it didn't matter one bit. I grabbed it out of my Misaki's hands and ripped it to pieces and tossed it away.

"Misaki I don't see any huge bill, all I see is many wonderful fruits for you to consume"

This earned me an emerald glare, it didn't gaze me much, I had grown used to Misaki's glares over time. I also knew that he probably wasn't extremely angry with me anyway so it was fine.

"Akihiko... Most of this fruit will expire before I can eat it all!"

He whined like a child, I sighed and waved a finger in front of my Misaki's emerald eyes and smiled.

_You're going to be eating a lot over time, this way you will eat when you're hungry and not just wait._

"We'll Misaki I guess you better start digging in, you said fruit agreed with you so start eating"

My Misaki glared at me adorably once again then walked over to a box of bananas. He grabbed one, peeled it and threw it at my face. I didn't expect it to actually hit me so I made no attempt to dodge it, I was proved wrong when I ended up having a mashed banana in my face, I just stood there confused as Misaki tried his best to stop himself from laughing.

_Misaki I never once thought you to be the type to waste food... Hmmm this could be fun._

"Misaki... The fruit is for you to consume..."

I took the banana off of my face and swiftly shoved it into my Misaki's mouth, he forced him self to swallow it. I wasn't alarmed by his mild coughing because I had just forced him to eat something, so it would have only been natural for him to cough. Misaki then pouted adorably, I just loved the way he pouted.

"Akihiko... That's disgusting shoving your face banana into my mouth!"

_Face banana..what about one from a different place?.._

I chuckled slightly and pulled my Misaki close enough for him to be able to feel my breath_._

"Misaki you don't like face bananas? Why not eat a different banana then? Hmm?"

I had to force myself not to grin when my Misaki's face went red, I allowed him to push me away from him. He wandered away from the banana crated.

_I think those might end up going bad_..

"Baka Akihiko..."

My Misaki muttered as he opened up the box of starfruit I made him order, pretended to be upset but I was amused as Misaki's emerald eyes glanced over at me.

_Oh Misaki so innocently adorable, I wonder if your cuteness will ever fade away... No, I don't think it'll ever leave you._

My Misaki nibbled on a piece of starfruit like a mouse, his eyes lit up and he looked over at me happily and smiled.

"Akihiko this starfruit is really really good! I can't believe it!"

I smirked and walked over to my Misaki who went back to nibbling onto the fruit, he looked like he was really enjoying it.

_Never expected to get this kind of reaction from Misaki and star fruit, well I'm glad that he's enjoying it and seems to have forgotten the receipt._

"Misaki you really love star fruit that much?"

My Misaki nodded happily towards me, I almost felt a little guilty about what I was going to say, but it seemed worth it to see his adorable blushing face. I shoved the live of starfruit he was eating into his mouth and smiled.

"If you do then why don't I help you enjoy yourself until you can only see stars?"

This cause my Misaki to almost choke as he backed away from me, he was so childish as he held up Suzuki up for defence.

"Akihiko... Stop that!"

I couldn't suppress the smirk I felt appear on my face as I leaned against the living room wall.

"Stop what?"

I feigned innocence into my voice, my Misaki just shot me another emerald glare once again. It seemed like I've gotten quite a few of them today.

_Misaki I didn't do anything wrong, I just spoke my mind... Heh._

"Saying strange things when I'm eating... If you continue I won't be able to eat any of these fruits and I'll feel bad that they were wasted.."

He sounded a little upset but I knew that my Misaki was faking it, if he was truly upset he wouldn't voice it out. I laughed when he crossed his arms like an little kid and began to pout, I couldn't stop myself from ruffling his hair.

"Okay Misaki, I'll stop so you'll be able to eat more fruit"

I noticed that Misaki grimaced slightly as he looked at the boxes of fruit.

_Did he become full already? He's barely eaten anything at all. A banana and two pieces of a whole starfruit..._

I sighed, I knew that if Misaki was already full I couldn't force him to eat anymore.

"I guess you're already full now anyway right?"

My Misaki nodded, he seemed like he felt a little guilty for not eating more. I let it slide because it was simply minor and I wanted my Misaki to rest.

"At least it was delicious"

_I'm glad you thought so, it would have been bad if you were unable to eat fruits Misaki, I hope you get better soon._

_**hehe... What do you think about this chapter neh? Anyway I hope you enjoyed yourself~**_


	7. Chapter 7 : Please Misaki?

**I still don't edit~**

**chapter 7 : Please Misaki?**

**Misaki POV**

It had been a week since Akihiko had ordered all those boxes of fruits that were once piled in the living room before they were disposed of earlier today. As I had expected I was not able to eat all of the fruits before they went bad. I grimaced at the smell the rotten fruits had left in the room, I felt a little guilty that so much good had been wasted.

My appetite hadn't gotten better, in fact it had actually worsened so that I barely ate at all. No amount of Akihiko's pestering could have made me eat more, it wasn't that I didn't want to. The problem was that I was unable to stomach more than a few mouthfuls of food a day, even then it was forced.

"Misaki are you sure you're okay? It's not normal to have such a little appetite.."

I could hear the concern that was in Akihiko's voice, I agreed with him somewhat in my appetite not seeming normal but I didn't want to worry him.

"I guess you're right.. If I don't start getting better after a week I'll go book an doctor's appointment"

_Please let myself get better before then.. I hate hospitals so much.. They always try to take what's precious to me away_..

Akihiko frowned, I could easily tell that he did not like my answer at all, I knew that yet I still would rather hold out on going to hospitals for as long as I could. I was in no rush to smell all the medicine and disinfectant once again, or see all the sickness that dwelled within those white walls.

"Misaki.. A weeks too long.. As you are now you'll barely be able to stand soon.. If something happens I'll be unable to call help for you.. Please.. Just have a hospital check up.."

I smiled at Akihiko, I just loved him so much, he had always cared for me dearly. Even when I didn't accept his kindness he still cared for me. I didn't like seeing my lavender eyed lover worry over me so much, I sighed.

"Okay Akihiko, how bout four days? It's the middle number between seven and right now? Is that a good enough compromise?"

_Even after death Akihiko can still persuade me so easily... Well I guess that's a good thing_.

I thought I saw unease flicker in Akihiko's lavender eyes for a split second but I shrugged it off, he was now smiling at me fondly with such kindness that he always has when I'm by his side.

"Fine.. As long as you promise to go to the hospital in four days.. I'm sorry for pestering you.. I'm just so worried about you my adorable Misaki"

Akihiko whispered softly as he brought me within his safe and warm arms. I blushed slightly as I nuzzled deeper into his warmth. No matter how many times I've felt it, Akihiko's warmth had always managed to make me feel so happy.

"I promise Akihiko... I'm sorry, I just don't want to go to an hospital.."

I shivered as I remembered my parents dying at the hospital after their car crash. The memory of Akihiko's death also made me shiver, however I just nuzzled deeper into Akihiko to erase those memories from my mind.

_At least I still have Akihiko.. Without him.. I don't know what I would be doing right now.._

I felt Akihiko move away from me, I whimpered in protest at the loss of his warmth. However that quickly died away as he ever so gently cupped my face within his huge yet kind hands, his eyes lavender eyes were filled with sadness. As if he could read my very thoughts and memories that had been swirling within my mind. He brought his head down and rested it against my forehead.

"Misaki... I know how much you hate hospitals.. I understand that greatly. I just.. Don't want you to wait until you seriously need an hospital."

I smiled sadly at Akihiko, I knew I was being selfish in not wanting to go. However I was glad that he understood, even though I had forced him to go to to the hospital when he was still with the living.

_Akihiko.. You're so kind to me, sometimes I doubt that I even deserve it, I'll always be thankful for your kindness_.

**Akihiko POV**

I had ordered my Misaki all those fruits a week ago, however my concern he was unable to eat them all. The fact that everything wasn't eaten didn't concern me as much as how my Misaki's appetite had diminished over the past week. I could tell that he also noticed his change in appetite because he had often looked guilty after he finished eating his ever so small portions of fruit that kept shrinking in size.

The only thing that remained of the fruit was the lingering sour smell that had clung onto the living room's furniture. Misaki's appetite seriously had me worried, no matter how much I asked him to eat, he could only manage to eat a few mouthfuls of food a day.

Even though I was no doctor, I could easily tell that if my Misaki continued going on with his diminishing appetite, he wouldn't be able to last much longer. Even now I could tell that he was losing weight, it scared me. My Misaki still hadn't recovered from his lost weight from when I had died and had been unable to make contact with him.

"Misaki are you sure you're okay? It's not normal to have such a little appetite.."

I didn't like seeing my Misaki like this one bit, I wanted him to be able to eat food normally like he used to, not seeing him cringe at the very thought of food.

"I guess you're right.. If I don't start getting better after a week I'll go book an doctor's appointment"

_A week.. A week is so long, so much can happen within a week Misaki. Please... Go to the doctors soon.._

I frowned at Misaki's answer, I didn't like it at all. I was afraid that my Misaki would get worse during the span of a week, he had already gotten significantly worse over the past week as it is.

"Misaki.. A weeks too long.. As you are now you'll barely be able to stand soon.. If something happens I'll be unable to call help for you.. Please.. Just have a hospital check up.."

_Please Misaki.._

My Misaki smiled at me kindly, I loved his smiles, even of they were the false ones that he sometimes showed. It put me a little at ease knowing that if he had the strength to smile, he wasn't perfectly helpless. Misaki sighed.

"Okay Akihiko, how bout four days? It's the middle number between seven and right now? Is that a good enough compromise?"

_Misaki... Even though you're unwell you still are persistent.._

I was uneasy with Misaki's answer but I didn't argue any further, I was glad enough that my Misaki shortened the length of his wait. I smiled at him fondly, I was so glad that this precious emerald eyes boy beside me was mine.

"Fine.. As long as you promise to go to the hospital in four days.. I'm sorry for pestering you.. I'm just so worried about you my adorable Misaki"

I whispered softly as I wrapped my Misaki inside of a gentle embrace. I wanted to protect the small boy in my arms no matter what even though I was now just an astral being that could only touch whatever's associated with him. He blushed slightly as he nuzzled into me and hummed softly with happiness.

"I promise Akihiko... I'm sorry, I just don't want to go to an hospital.."

I felt Misaki shiver, I then realized why my Misaki was so reluctant to go towards the hospital. That place holds so many unhappy memories for him, even without me dying he still would have his parents death. Unlike me, they weren't able to come back like me for Misaki, and even now the memory of my death probably still hurts my dear Misaki.

_Misaki... I'll lend you the courage, I will follow you to the hospital. Even if others can't see me, even if you're unable to speak to me there.._

_I will stay by you're side and lend you the courage to push aside those sad memories._

I moved away from my Misaki, his whimper of protest at me moving away was adorable. It didn't last long however because I cupped my Misaki's slender and adorable face gently within my hands, I looked at him sadly. I understood now why my Misaki didn't want to go to a hospital anytime soon as I looked into his emerald eyes that were also reflecting sadness. I wanted my Misaki to feel safe, I lowered my head and rested it against his forehead.

"Misaki... I know how much you hate hospitals.. I understand that greatly. I just.. Don't want you to wait until you seriously need an hospital."

My Misaki smiled at me sadly, I knew that it was reasonable for him to feel like that. I was just glad that he had the strength to smile after everything that he's been through.

_Misaki even after death I've followed you, I will continue to stay by you're side for the rest of time, giving you the strength you need to carry on. I worry about you because I love you, I love you because of your beautiful and kind heart._

_**hehe hope ya enjoyed~~~ ...**_


	8. Chapter 8 : Unknown Concern

**Meow... Berry doesn't edit..**

**Chapter 8 : Unknown Concern**

**Misaki POV **

"Akihiko, I've been wondering, what does it feel like to be an ghost? Does it feel weird?"

I asked the strange question because I was truly curious about Akihiko's answer. I had seen many paranormal shows on tv but I had never really believed in ghosts. Well, until recently that is.

Akihiko crossed his arms and stood silently for a second, he looked as if he was deep in thought. Eyebrows furrowed with an intense lavender gaze that seemed to be staring at nothing. I had rarely seen my silver haired lover with such an expression on his face, usually it was when he was working intently on his manuscript at his computer desk, which was truly a rare sight indeed.

"I'd explain it as... Normal, I can still be with you... and touch you all I want my adorable Misaki, which is more than enough. I also don't have to worry about Aiakawa bursting into the room while we're '_playing_' in bed. So I guess it's simple and easy.. Well it gets annoying when I can't touch certain things."

I blushed slightly at Akihiko's words, I hadn't expected him to say something like that with a straight and serious face. However from all the time I've spent living with him, I should have already expected him to answer like that. I shook my head to rid myself of any embarrassment that had taken me after Akihiko's reply.

_You're so strange Akihiko.. I don't think it'll ever be possible for you to be normal. Especially with the way you are now.. Well I kind of like that.._

_"_You're my strange Akihiko.."

I heard him laugh and slightly blush, it was ever so faint that I could barely see it, however it was still there. I cocked my head to the side and looked at my lavender eyed lover confused.

"You're so adorable Misaki"

Akihiko whispered close to my ear, the feel of his hot breath making contact made me shiver slightly at the feeling.

"I don't understand Baka Akihiko.."

He looked at me with that sly smile of his, lavender eyes glinting with amusement as he tilted my chin upwards.

"Hmm didn't you say 'you're my strange Akihiko?'"

My eyes went wide and I hid my face in his shirt, I hadn't meant to speak that aloud.

_I can't believe I said something so embarrassing out loud_..

"Baka..."

Akihiko placed his kind hand on top of my head, I hummed happily at the simple touch, it made me feel safe from anything that may ever try to harm me.

"Misaki stop hiding in my shirt"

Akihiko's warm breath on my neck made me mew like an kitten, I wanted to stay in his shirt, not because I was embarrassed anymore but because I wanted to just bask in his scent and warmth.

I sighed with discontent as I moved my face from hiding inside my silver haired lover's shirt, however I was still leaning against him. I stood on the tip of my toes and wrapped my arms around Akihiko's neck, I wanted him, I felt like I needed him so much. I looked up into those lavender eyes that I have come to love so dearly.

"Akihiko..."

I felt extremely dizzy and tired, however that was made irrelevant as so as my love captured me within his kind, warm embrace as he graced me with many a kiss. My vision was slightly blurry, probably by the warmth I was feeling I allowed Akihiko to scoop me up within his arms and carry up the stairs towards our room.

_I feel so strange.. I've never felt like this before.. Is it because Akihiko is with me?_

I didn't see to have the strength to argue to I clung onto his big frame and sighed with content.

"Misaki you're strange today"

Akihiko laughed as he ever so gently placed me upon our huge bed. I smiled with slight difficulty, I could only make out the silver sheen of his hair and the soft lavender of his eyes.

"I'm just tired all of a sudden"

I hummed dreamily as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled my lover onto the bed with me.

"Misaki I think you should go to the doctors right now."

Akihiko's voice was laced with worry, I didn't like making him worried so I sighed and nodded towards my silver haired lover.

"Okay.."

I went to get up but my arms collapsed underneath me, I looked down at them with confusion.

"Misaki what's wrong?"

His voice was calm yet the worry was still a layer within his voice. I frowned at my arm then looked at Akihiko.

"My body won't move..."

_What am I going to do now?.._

**Akihiko** **POV**

"Akihiko, I've been wondering, what does it feel like to be an ghost? Does it feel weird?"

My Misaki's question caught me by surprise, I never expected Dutch an odd question to be asked so randomly. However I guessed that the question wasn't all out of place, I was a ghost, something that most people didn't believe in.

I crossed my arms as I thought about how it felt like to be an ghost.

_There's lots of things I'm able to do now that I'm a ghost.. However there's also a lot of things that I'm unable to do now_

"I'd explain it as... Normal, I can still be with you... and touch you all I want my adorable Misaki, which is more than enough. I also don't have to worry about Aiakawa bursting into the room while we're '_playing_' in bed. So I guess it's simple and easy.. Well it gets annoying when I can't touch certain things."

My Misaki blushed slightly at my words, I was glad that he had reacted how I expected him to. My Misaki was almost always so predictable when it came to things like this. I had to stop myself from laughing when he shook his head adorably as if to empty his thoughts.

_Misaki, always embarrassed so easily, however I'm glad you don't yell at me as often as you used to. Though sometimes I miss your yelling._

_"_You're my strange Akihiko.."

_What?..that's just so... Adorable Misaki.._

I laughed lightly, I couldn't believe my Misaki would say something so cute and openly. My Misaki cocked his head to the side adorably, his emerald eyes shimmering with confusion.

"You're so adorable Misaki"

I whispered closely to my Misaki's sensitive ear, I was content when he shivered at the touch of my breath.

"I don't understand Baka Akihiko.."

I looked at my innocent Misaki and felt a sly smile creep upon my face. I tilted my adorable Misaki's chin up towards me amused.

"Hmm didn't you say 'you're my strange Akihiko?'"

I had to stop myself from laughing as my Misaki's emerald eyes went wide with shock and his his face in my shirt. I guessed from his reaction that he hadn't meant to speak aloud.

_Hmm I wonder what else you think about Misaki, are your thoughts filled with me? _

"Baka..."

I placed a hand on top of my embarrassed Misaki's head, I smiled when he responded with a happy humming sound. It always made me feel light whenever my Misaki was happily within my grasp.

"Misaki stop hiding in my shirt"

I breathed onto Misaki's neck and he mewed like an small kitten. I could tell he wanted to be enveloped within my warmth still, however I had other plans for the brunette in my arms.

I heard my Misaki sigh unhappily as he removed himself from my shirt, I was glad that he still leaned against me. I loved how my Misaki had become so much more affectionate towards me lately.

He stood on the very tip of his toes as he wrapped his slender arms around my neck, I looked down into his emerald eyes that seemed slightly clouded, they were also half closed, I could tell he was slightly tired.

"Akihiko..."

I captured my Misaki within my arms, he seemed so frail to me, I knew that I couldn't play with him tonight, but even so I kissed him many times before I scooped up me exhausted adorable Misaki and headed up the stairs towards our room.

_Misaki you should really rest... You haven't been able to take in the necessary nutrients to have energy in a while.._

The way Misaki didn't argue of fight me to put him down slightly worried me, my Misaki usually always argued about being carried. However this time he just clung to me and sighed with content, just proving to me how tired he was.

"Misaki you're strange today"

I laughed as I gently placed my Misaki on top of our bed, my Misaki smiled yet it seemed to be slightly forced, I frowned at how unfocused his eyes had become.

"I'm just tired all of a sudden"

My Misaki surprised me as he hummed dreamily as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me onto the bed.

"Misaki I think you should go to the doctors right now."

Misaki's actions were just beginning to become just too strange for the Misaki I was used to, I couldn't help but worry about the brunette underneath me. I was slightly relieved when he nodded, however that also worried me slightly.

_What happened to your fear of hospitals.. Are you really that unwell?_

"Okay.."

I watched as my Misaki got up using his arms, however his arms shook and he collapsed back onto the bed. My Misaki looked at his own arms with confusion clouding his emerald eyes.

"Misaki what's wrong?"

I couldn't understand my Misaki's actions, it worried me when he frowned at his arms then looked at me.

"My body won't move..."

_What?... You're body won't move? But you were fine not long ago.. _

_What's wrong with you Misaki.._

_**berry hopes you enjoyed the chapter~**_


	9. Chapter 9 : Why!

**:3 Heheheh... Berry doesn't edit!**

**Chapter 9 : Why?!**

**Misaki POV**

I looked into Akihiko's lavender eyes with effort, they reflected a mixture of concern and confusion as they gazed back at me. I suddenly felt a wave of pain wash over my body, it took a great deal of effort to even cry out in pain.

"Misaki! What's wrong?!"

Akihiko moved to pick me up but I ended up slipping through his arms, my silver haired lover froze and looked at his own arms in shock.

"Akihiko..I'm scared.. What's wrong with me?..."

_I... Was perfectly fine not long ago.. It hurts.. It hurts so much.._

I barely finished speaking when another wave of pain rushed over me, however the pain lingered and continued to torment me. I winced, it felt as if millions upon billions of microscopic needles were piercing me everywhere, inside and out. It was if I was slowly being torn apart by the unseen needles, I tried to reach out towards Akihiko. However my hand passed right through my lover once again and was met with a pulsing pain that was added my already existing pain.

"Misaki... I'll get help!"

Akihiko called as he ran out of the bedroom, I looked longingly towards the doorway that he had exited from. I felt the warm tears that had started to roll down my face, they were cause from my pain, also from seeing Akihiko's retreating form getting far away from me.

_No... Akihiko.. Please don't leave me again...please don't leave me alone..I don't want to be left alone.._

I was scared and utterly confused, I had no idea what was causing my pain. I whimpered to myself, I felt totally lost, even though I was on top of me and Akihiko's bed. I somehow felt foreign, my already blurry vision was slowly waning into more clearness then back to my blurry sight in rhythm with my constant heartbeat.

I gasped when I felt the bed move slightly, I weakly looked up into sorrowful lavender and shining silver, I could tell that I was probably looking at my lover Akihiko.

"Misaki.. I'm sorry... I can't pick up phones, others can't see me.. And I can't even carry you..."

Akihiko's voice betrayed that he was probably on the verge of tears, I winced then made myself smile towards Akihiko. I wanted to cheer him up, he had always been overprotective of me so I knew for sure that his heart was in pain.

_Akihiko.. Please I don't want you to suffer as well.. I love you.. And I know that you love me, I know it's hard but please... I want you to be happy Akihiko_.

"Aki-Akihiko.. I'll be fine..it just hurts a lot that's all.."

It took a great deal of effort to speak, however I didn't care. I did not want to make Akihiko any more worried about me than he already was, even of it meant lying to the one I loved.

"Misaki..I'm so useless! I should be able to carry you to the hospital.. Yet I can't..even though you need me.. I just can't.."

I felt something warm begin drip onto my hands I looked down at them with my pulsing vision confused, it seemed as if it was Akihiko's tears. I felt sadness wash over me, it mingled with my pain as I thought about how I'm making the one I love more than anything cry.

I reached up towards Akihiko weakly, hoping that somehow I would be able to touch him, to sooth his tears away and make him smile. I gasped in pain as I felt my hand go through Akihiko, the it jolted through my bones like I had been shocked with electricity.

_Why? Why does Akihiko's touch hurt so much?.. Why can I no longer touch his physical form.. Is he going to fade away and leave me alone once again?_

_No, I don't want that to happen at all, I want Akihiko to stay with me._

I heard the sound of Akihiko moving away from me, I felt panic seize me.

_No.. Don't leave_..

I whimpered and forced myself to move closer towards Akihiko who seemed to be retreating away from me. I looked in his direction, I could feel my own tears falling down my face, I sniffed as I tried to hold back the tears. However the effort was useless as the tears continued to fall down my face.

"Akihiko... Why?.. Please don't leave me.."

I could hear my heartbeat in my ears it had a steady yet slow rhythm, it seemed strange. It sounded different from what I was used to.

"Misaki.. I don't want to harm you.."

I laughed slightly despite the pain that it brought upon me, it couldn't believe that Akihiko thought that he was hurting me.

_Well... When I touch him I feel pain, however I don't care.. As long as I'm with Akihiko, I don't care about any pain. All that matters is for me to be with him._

"Akihiko, the only pain you're able to cause me is to my heart, when you leave my side I'm empty and lost. I've already told you this before, I need you Akihiko so please, don't leave me..again"

I heard my lavender eyed lover sigh sadly, I blinked a few times and my vision focused properly upon him for a few seconds before returning to my blurry gaze. The look on Akihiko's face made me want to burst into tears, he had looked so lost and helpless, a look that didn't suit him at all.

"Misaki.. Your pain.. I may be the cause of it.."

_What?.. You're the cause of my pain? But how? All you've ever done was be so kind towards me..._

**Akihiko POV**

My Misaki's words had surprised me, he was moving well not to long ago so his sudden immobility concerned me greatly. My Misaki's usually bright emerald eyes were slightly clouded, my Misaki suddenly cried out in pain, making me jump slightly.

"Misaki! What's wrong?!"

I went to go pick up my precious Misaki but my limbs just passed through him with no resistance. I froze and looked at my arms in shock, it was only a minutes go that I was able to hold him.

_Why can't I pick up Misaki?.. I've been able to do it with no trouble at all before..why?.._

"Akihiko..I'm scared.. What's wrong with me?..."

_Misaki...why are you in so much pain... I don't like seeing you like this.._

My Misaki's voice was filled with so much pain that it broke my heart just to see him like this. My Misaki suddenly winced and curled up slightly as if it was an impulse, his clouded emerald eyes were flickering between countless levels of pain. I had to hold back a whimper as I watched my Misaki suffer from his pain, I didn't like this, I wanted my Misaki to be okay. He weakly reached over in an attempt to touch me, however his hand easily passed through me as easily as I had slipped through him, the result seemed to be that another wave of pain had taken hold of my Misaki.

_Misaki! Why... The pain that has a hold on you.. I want to ease it away yet.._

"Misaki... I'll get help!"

I ran out of the bedroom, I didn't want to leave my Misaki all alone and in pain, however I needed to get my Misaki help quickly. I couldn't stand seeing my lovely Misaki in pain any longer, I just wanted him to be happy and healthy.

_Misaki I'll be back soon, I'm just going to get some help for you, please... Try to endure your pain.._

I ran towards the phone, I cursed when my hands just slipped through it with ease just like last time. I looked around desperately, trying to find something, anything that would help my Misaki. I went to go outside until I remembered that only Misaki could see me, I felt so utterly useless. The one I loved more than anything in existence was suffering, yet I was unable to ease his pain.

_This is just too cruel... My Misaki is in pain, I'm by his_ _side... Yet, I can only watch_..

I went back to where I left Misaki on our bed, I knew that the precious boy waiting there would be unable to travel on his own. I wiped away the wetness that was in my eyes and sat beside my Misaki, I was filled with the guilt of being an unreliable lover.

My Misaki gasped in surprise when I sat by him, I frowned guessing that he probably couldn't see very clearly.

"Misaki.. I'm sorry... I can't pick up phones, others can't see me.. And I can't even carry you..."

_I want to help... I would give anything to help you.. It's not fair, Misaki.._

I heard my voice crack however I didn't care, my Misaki winced then smiled at me. I couldn't believe that my Misaki was trying to cheer me up even though he was the one who was in pain.

Misaki.. How can you make yourself smile for me?... You're in so much pain..oh Misaki you're just.. Too kind for your own good..

"Aki-Akihiko.. I'll be fine..it just hurts a lot that's all.."

It seemed as if it took so much effort for my Misaki to even speak, it hurt. My Misaki was putting me before himself like always, I wanted my Misaki to focus on himself. I wanted my lovely Misaki to think about his own needs instead of mine, he was still alive, yet I wasn't.

_I'm so sorry Misaki.. So very sorry... I want to make you happy, not me being cheered up_..

"Misaki..I'm so useless! I should be able to carry you to the hospital.. Yet I can't..even though you need me.. I just can't.."

I could tell that I had already started to cry, I didn't care about letting Misaki see my tears. He was the only one that was allowed to see me in this state, even if he couldn't see me perfectly.

I noticed my Misaki reach towards me weakly once again, I hoped with all of my being that he would succeed so I could take care of my hurting Misaki. However to my shock he gasped in pain as soon as his hand passed through me as if he was attacked with something.

_Wait.. He's been feeling pain whenever we've tried to make contact... Is the cause of his pain me?... Have I been hurting my sweet Misaki?!_

_I.. Don't want that.._

I moved away from Misaki, afraid of causing more harm to my love.

_I'm so sorry_...

I heard my Misaki whimper, I resisted the urge to go try to hold and comfort him. My Misaki tried to move closer towards me but I moved away as he tried to close the distance. It hurt so much when I saw tears spilling from those emerald eyes that I loved so much.

_Misaki_...

"Akihiko... Why?.. Please don't leave me.."

I was shocked when my Misaki asked me to not leave him, I hadn't been planning on leaving, I just wanted to not harm him.

_Were you worried about how I left when I died? That won't happen_ _Misaki_..

"Misaki.. I don't want to harm you.."

My Misaki laughed slightly even though it seemed to cause him great pain in doing so.

_Misaki, I hate seeing your face covered in pain, I want you to happy but in no pain.. I'll stay with you still. Nothing would make me leave you again_.

"Akihiko, the only pain you're able to cause me is to my heart, when you leave my side I'm empty and lost. I've already told you this before, I need you Akihiko so please, don't leave me..again"

I sighed sadly, I felt so helpless in helping my Misaki. If I were to be close to him he'll be in pain but if I were to be far he would also be in pain.

"Misaki.. Your pain.. I may be the cause of it.."

_Misaki I love you... I'm so sorry for hurting you_..

**hehehe is it bad that** **this chapter makes me smile? X3 anyway hope ya liked it~~**


	10. Chapter 10 : Fading

**No edits**

**Chapter 10 : Fading**

**Misaki POV**

I looked at the blurry image of Akihiko in shock, I couldn't believe that he thought that the cause of my pain was himself. Akihiko had done nothing at all to harm me, the only thing he had bestowed upon me was happiness and safety.

"Akihiko... I don't understand.."

I weakly tried to move closer towards my silver haired lover, even though I couldn't touch him, I still wanted to be near him. I felt the throbbing pain suddenly intensify, as soon as my hand passed through Akihiko once again. I suppressed a yelp of pain, knowing that it would make Akihiko distance himself further from me.

"Misaki... Whenever you attempt to touch me, you feel pain. I don't want you to be in pain because of me Misaki.."

Akihiko's voice was little more than a whisper, his words saddened me greatly, he felt so guilty yet he did nothing wrong. I shook my head quickly as my tears were still falling down my cheeks, I grabbed towards Akihiko's collar of his shirt. I felt the fabric for the split second that it too me to pull him towards me, a fiery pain assaulted me before my fingers slipped through him.

_Akihiko... I need you, no pain can compare to the pain of you leaving me.. I don't care if I'm hurt.._

"Akihiko you're wrong... I need you more than anything.. I love you too much, if you... Were to start avoiding me...I don't like that! Please... Just stay with me, I don't care about any amount of pain! I just... Want to be with you!"

I didn't want Akihiko to leave me, I just wanted to be with him like before, happily joking around peacefully. I felt like anything would be better than losing my silver haired lover.

"Misaki you don't understand... Ever since you've been able to touch me and see me, you've started to become weaker and weaker. It's my fault.."

_Akihiko.. I don't care..I just.. want to be with you_

I suddenly gasped, the needle like pain that had been growing inside me suddenly became more fierce. Instead of microscopic needles continuously pricking me, it was if millions of sharp blades were slashing me apart swiftly from the inside out. I covered my mouth in pain, Not wanting to let my cries of pain escape for Akihiko to hear. Unfortunately my lover seemed to have noticed my added pain quickly.

"Misaki!"

Akihiko quickly went to go embrace me, quickly forgetting how he seemed to cause me pain at his touch, I cried out as his usually caring and warm arms passed through me sending a jolt of searing pain my way. My blurry lover quickly recoiled at the sound of my cries, I just knew that he was probably feeling so guilty now.

"It's okay Akihiko, you were just trying to help.. Please don't feel upset.."

"Misaki..."

The fear that filled my lovers voice made me shiver shiver slightly, I looked at him confused.

"What's wrong Akihiko?"

I knew whatever made Akihiko so frightful wasn't my pain, if it was, his voice would have been filled with sadness instead of fear.

"You're fading..."

His words confused me greatly.

_Fading?... What does he mean by that? I can breath and I have a proper pulse.. It's just a bunch of pain.._

"Akihiko.. What do you mean by fading?..."

My lover pointed towards me, I looked down at my own hands only to see that they were starting to turn transparent. I felt fear grip me, I was literally fading and I had no idea about why this is happening.

"This is all my fault..."

Akihiko looked away from me, his lavender eyes were filled with sorrow and regret. I didn't understand why Akihiko was still blaming himself for my pain, he hadn't done anything to intentionally harm me at all.

_Akihiko would never harm me, he's too kind to harm me.. That's why I love him so much._

"It's not your fault Akihiko, it's nobody's fault!"

I didn't like seeing that look on Akihiko's face one bit, it didn't suit him at all. A smug smile, kindness or even irritation fitted my silver haired lover's face better than one of sorrow and regret.

Akihiko shook his head sadly and looked at me with those sorrowful lavender eyes of his.

"Misaki.. It actually is.. I should have realized this sooner... I'm so sorry.."

_Akihiko... Stop apologizing... You have no need to... I love you so I'll always forgive you, yet this time, you've done nothing wrong.._

**Akihiko POV**

My pained yet precious Misaki was looking at me with those foggy emerald eyes of his, even though they were foggy, they still seemed so beautiful in my eyes. However that beauty of his eyes also hurt me, he looked so confused and sad.

_Misaki... I'm so sorry... The last thing I ever wanted to do was cause you pain.._

"Akihiko... I don't understand.."

My Misaki weakly tried to move closer towards me, it hurt knowing that my Misaki couldn't touch me without pain, I loved him yet I was causing the one I love to feel such pain. My Misaki's hand passed through me once again, I could see pain overtake the confusion within his clouded emerald eyes.

_As I thought... I'm so sorry.._

"Misaki... Whenever you attempt to touch me, you feel pain. I don't want you to be in pain because of me Misaki.."

I could tell my voice was quiet, I hated that I was causing my Misaki such pain, I was supposed to protect my precious love from all that tried to harm him yet, I was the cause of such pain. My Misaki shook his head, his tears hadn't stopped falling since they last started. He suddenly grasped the collar of my shirt for a second and managed to pull me closer towards him, before his fingers slipped through me. My Misaki's sudden movement surprised me, what surprised me even more was that he had managed to grab hold of me. However I guessed that this had cause my love significant pain.

_Misaki please stop... I don't want you to continue harming yourself by trying to touch me... I hate seeing you in such pain so please... Stop..._

"Akihiko you're wrong... I need you more than anything.. I love you too much, if you... Were to start avoiding me...I don't like that! Please... Just stay with me, I don't care about any amount of pain! I just... Want to be with you!"

I also wanted to be with my Misaki yet, if it meant harming him, I just couldn't stand it.

_I love you so much Misaki thats why.. Because I love you.. I wish to be distanced from you.. I won't leave you.. I just, want your pain to end._

"Misaki you don't understand... Ever since you've been able to touch me and see me, you've started to become weaker and weaker. It's my fault.."

My Misaki suddenly gasped, I looked over at him alarmed and saw that he was trembling, he looked to be in serious pain because he covered his mouth as if he was holding back cries of pain.

"Misaki!"

I quickly went to go embrace my fragile Misaki, In that instance I had forgotten that I would only cause him even more pain. I recoiled quickly however as my poor innocent cried out in pain as I passed through him. I felt so horrible, I had forgotten myself and yet again, added more pain to my love.

_I can't believe I hurt Misaki again I knew that touching him cause him pain yet I still tried too... I'm so sorry Misaki.._

"It's okay Akihiko, you were just trying to help.. Please don't feel upset.."

"Misaki..."

Something truly terrifying caught my attention, when I gazed at my lovely yet pained Misaki he was somewhat transparent as if his very self was disappearing. My Misaki looked at me confused.

"What's wrong Akihiko?"

It was scary, my love was fading away. Even if we managed to somehow miraculously get a doctor, they wouldn't be of any use.

"You're fading..."

_Because of me... Misaki's starting to disappear... Why though? Why would Misaki start to fade?.. It doesn't make any sense... All I know is that I'm the cause._

"Akihiko.. What do you mean by fading?..."

_Oh Misaki_...

I pointed towards my Misaki, he looked down towards his fading hands, I could slightly see my Misaki beginning to become more and more transparent.

"This is all my fault..."

I looked away from my Misaki, I didn't feel like I deserved to look upon him after everything that I've caused for him. I knew that I was the reason my Misaki was having so many problems and pain.

_I have no idea how I can make it up to you Misaki... I don't think I'll ever be able to... Harming the one I love.. Causing you to fade... It's because of me you're suffering_..

"It's not your fault Akihiko, it's nobody's fault!"

_Misaki... Even though you're the one who's suffering... You still worry about my feelings... You're too kind..._

I shook my head sadly and looked into my Misaki's pained emerald eyes.

"Misaki.. It actually is.. I should have realized this sooner... I'm so sorry.."

_The reason for your pain and you fading... Is because of me... I can't believe I didn't realize what I had been doing until it was too late.._

_**hehe ... Hope ya enjoyed the chapter~**_


	11. Chapter 11 : Time with you is all I want

**I still don't Edit~~ hehe**

**Chapter 11 : Time with you is all I want**

**Misaki POV**

I looked over at Akihiko with confusion, my vision had begun to level out however the pain within me was still rising in altitude. I didn't understand why Akihiko was so insistent in blaming himself for my pain.

"Aki-Akihiko what do you mean?..."

_How could any of this possibly be your fault? You're the most kind person I've ever met Akihiko._

My silver haired lover shook his head sadly, he looked at me with his lavender eyes as if he were grieving my death, it pained me to see my lover looking so helpless.

"You know how I was following you even before you could see me?.."

Akihiko's voice sounded hesitant as if he was afraid to tell me his reasons, I wanted so badly to hold his kind warm hands and cheer him up, yet I knew that if I did, I'd be struck with even more pain and Akihiko would become even more upset.

_I don't care about my pain... However if my pain is causing your heart to hurt, then I'll do my best to prevent extra pain for myself and you._

_"_Yes I do remember... What does that have to do with anything_?"_

Akihiko took a breath to settle himself before he spoke.

"Well I didn't know this then but I've just realized I needed energy to be able to be seen.."

I cocked my head to the side, I was confused about how Akihiko needed energy to be seen.

"So what energy did you use?"

I clenched my teeth and winced as a jolt of pain attacked my lungs, it felt like it was melting away. In a sense I was actually melting away, I was fading away into nothingness as me and Akihiko spoke, neither of us were able to do anything about it.

"... I unconsciously started to use your life force... I was so desperate to see you and make you happy that I just used the easiest source of energy available... I'm so sorry..."

Akihiko was starting to tear up, I had to stop myself from trying to pat my lover on the back cheer him up, I didn't care that he's been using my life force.

_Sure I didn't want to die.. But the time I've spent with Akihiko after he returned to me is worth over a million lifetimes, I don't mind that he used my life force, it was an accident_.

I smiled sadly at my silver haired lover, I knew that he must be hurting so much, I then looked down towards my mostly transparent hands.

It seemed so weird to be able to see through myself, I couldn't even see through Akihiko even though he was a ghost.

"Akihiko I don't care, you've brought me so much happiness ever since you've returned. I probably would still be in pain and upset from your death if you hadn't come back to me, for that I'm thankful Akihiko. No matter what mistakes you've made, I'm truly thankful to you for once again bringing me happiness. I may be suffering from this pain, however that doesn't matter at all, all that matters is that I got to see you again my love...so please, don't be upset Akihiko.."

I suddenly felt weak as if my strength was being chipped away into nothing, I looked down at my body only to see that I was barely visible, I looked over at Akihiko and saw that his lavender eyes that I loved so much had become filled with fear. I understood my lovers fear, I was also afraid of disappearing, yet I knew that it was going to happen whether I liked it or not.

"I'm sorry.. If only I knew how to stop draining you of your life force..."

I frowned at Akihiko's words, if he were to stop draining me of my life force he would probably become unseen like before.

_I don't like that... I'd rather see you for as long as I can Akihiko... You're my world and I can't live without my world anyway._

"Akihiko it's okay._."_

I could tell that my voice was quiet, the pain had suddenly stopped, I assumed that I was already too far faded to feel pain. I was glad for that, I didn't want to fade away while I was in front of my lover with a look of pain.

"Misaki.. How can it be okay?! You're fading away!"

If I wasn't already crying, Akihiko's broken voice would have put me into a fit of tears, I was hurting him yet I knew that I couldn't stop. I've always hated when Akihiko wasn't his smug and confident self, it made me feel uneasy and worry about my silver haired lover.

"Akihiko it's okay because You're by my side, I feel safe when you're around... I.. Love you Akihiko and I always will.."

I leaned towards my silver haired love and gave him a ghost like kiss, I couldn't feel his touch yet I felt his warmth before everything around me dissipated.

I looked around in the darkness with fear, my lover Akihiko, wasn't by my side anymore. I looked up and saw a light, I floated up towards it until it became too blinding for my eyes that I was forced to close them. I could hear Akihiko crying for me, it was coming from the darkness that I had left behind.

"Akihiko I'm waiting..."

I whispered softly towards the darkness before I was absorbed into the soft light.

When I came to, I saw that I was in a field of every kind of flower that existed, the grass between the flowers was soft and the wind was crisp and refreshing, the sky's were a light and pure blue with not a single cloud in sight it felt peaceful. Yet something seemed missing, I knew what it was, my silver haired lover was missing from this peaceful field.

I sighed sadly and laid in the field as I waited for him.

"Baka Akihiko... Hurry up and enter the spirit world I'm waiting..."

I whispered once again, hoping that he would hear my calling. I waited for a few minutes before I felt a calming presence beside me, I opened my eyes and saw my lover staring at me with his lavender eyes overflowing with affection and kindness.

"You're late Baka.."

I smiled as I got up and embraced my silver haired lover. I had missed his warmth even though it hadn't been that long since I've last felt it.

"I'm sorry Misaki.."

Akihiko's voice was trembling as he embraced me, I moved away from him and looked him in the eyes.

"Baka, there's no need for you to be sorry, everyone dies... And now I can spend the rest of time with you"

I held Akihiko's face within my hands and gazed into his loving eyes.

"But..."

I shook my head slowly and cocked my head to the side and smiled.

"No 'buts' Akihiko, everything is fine. All I need is you, eventually everyone we know will join us.. So I want to savour my time with you alone"

Akihiko brought me in for a sweet kiss, as we sat there together in the flowery fields until the end of time we were together as one.

**Akihiko** **POV**

My adorable Misaki looked over at me with confusion, his beautiful emerald eyes seemed to have shed away whatever had been clouding his vision before.

"Aki-Akihiko what do you mean?..."

My Misaki sounded so weak and pained, it was enough to shoot daggers of pain into my heart knowing that I was causing this.

_I'm a failure of a partner... Causing my dear Misaki so much pain... I don't deserve you yet I still want you more than anything_..

I shook my head sadly, I looked at my fading Misaki, I felt so helpless. I knew he would completely face yet I couldn't do a single thing to save my love.

"You know how I was following you even before you could see me?.."

I was hesitant in telling my Misaki, I was afraid he'd get mad at me, I deserved it yet I couldn't stand the though of my Misaki becoming truly mad at me.

_If I could reverse time... I would have stopped myself from seeking you out Misaki.. Even though it would have hurt... I'd rather see you in no pain at all._

_"_Yes I do remember... What does that have to do with anything_?"_

I needed to take a breath to settle myself down before I continued to speak.

"Well I didn't know this then but I've just realized I needed energy to be able to be seen.."

My Misaki cocked his head to the side adorably, his emerald eyes still swirling with confusion.

"So what energy did you use?"

I noticed my Misaki wince as more pain attacked him, I wanted more than anything to deal away all of my Misaki's pain and suffering for him. He is just an innocent boy who Had done nothing wrong, yet so much pain and suffering had come his way through his life, it just wasn't fair that we were helpless to change anything.

"... I unconsciously started to use your life force... I was so desperate to see you and make you happy that I just used the easiest source of energy available... I'm so sorry..."

_If I knew... I would have forced myself to remain unseen, no matter how much it hurt to see you so unhappy... Eventually you would have gotten over my death_..

My Misaki smiled at me sadly, I missed his genuine smile that he had when he was happy. My Misaki then looked down towards his transparent hands, my poor Misaki was mostly transparent and was slightly hard to see.

"Akihiko I don't care, you've brought me so much happiness ever since you've returned. I probably would still be in pain and upset from your death if you hadn't come back to me, for that I'm thankful Akihiko. No matter what mistakes you've made, I'm truly thankful to you for once again bringing me happiness. I may be suffering from this pain, however that doesn't matter at all, all that matters is that I got to see you again my love...so please, don't be upset Akihiko.."

_Misaki... I love you so much...I hate seeing you in pain, you may not care yet it breaks my heart when I see you suffering so much_...

My Misaki suddenly became almost completely invisible, I looked into his eyes in fear, I didn't want to lose my precious Misaki, he was too kind and innocent to disappear.

"I'm sorry.. If only I knew how to stop draining you of your life force..."

_Misaki... It's my fault... There's no words to properly express how sorry I feel right now_..

Misaki frowned slightly, he was probably worrying about what would happen to me is I stopped using his life force.

_Misaki...you're such a brat for worrying about me when you're in that condition... An adorable and lovely brat.._

"Akihiko it's okay._."_

_What?_! _How could you think everything's okay_...

My Misaki's voice was quiet, I noticed that his voice was no longer laced with pain like before, I was thankful yet it scared me.

"Misaki.. How can it be okay?! You're fading away!"

I could tell that my voice had cracked when I spoke.

"Akihiko it's okay because You're by my side, I feel safe when you're around... I.. Love you Akihiko and I always will.."

My Misaki leaned towards me and gave me a ghostly kiss before he faded within my arms, tears streamed down my face when I realized that my Misaki was now _**gone**_. I couldn't believe that he had just disappeared even though it had happened right in front of my eyes.

_Misaki... You of all people didn't deserve to die... You're kindness is something the world will miss greatly, even though you may not have realized this.._

"Akihiko I'm waiting..."

I heard Misaki's voice whisper softly, I looked around hoping to see my emerald eyed Misaki by my side once again.

_Misaki... Where are you... I want to be by your side even though I don't deserve to be... If do anything if it meant I could bring you happiness.._

"Baka Akihiko... Hurry up and enter the spirit world I'm waiting..."

My Misaki's voice once again whispered in my ears, I suddenly had an idea of where my Misaki would be. I close my eyes and when I opened them I saw that I was in a field of every kind of flower that existed, the grass between the flowers was soft and the wind was crisp and refreshing, the sky's were a light and pure blue with not a single cloud in sight and right beside me was my one and only Misaki laying in the flowers. When he opened his emerald eyes I was flooded with happiness and sadness.

"You're late Baka.."

He smiled his beautiful true smile and embraced my, it felt so nice to touch my love without him being in pain.

"I'm sorry Misaki.."

_Because of me you died_...

I was trembling at the thought that I had killed my Misaki, he moved away from me and looked at me with his brilliant emerald eyes.

"Baka, there's no need for you to be sorry, everyone dies... And now I can spend the rest of time with you"

My Misaki held my face gently and gazed into my eyes affectionately.

"But..."

_It's still my fault.._

My Misaki shook his head slowly and cocked his head to the side and smiled warmly at me.

"No 'buts' Akihiko, everything is fine. All I need is you, eventually everyone we know will join us.. So I want to savour my time with you alone"

_Oh Misaki... You're so sweet and kind.. I may have fallen in love with you all over again_..

I brought my adorable Misaki in for a sweet kiss and we sat together in the flowery fields enjoying each others company for the rest of time.

**I really do hope you enjoyed this storhad sadly its at an end ... For now... i know, I know.. I killed Usagi then I killed Misaki in this series but at least it's not a sad ending right? ^_^ Please tell what you thought about this neh?**


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